Tour de France Routes Are My New Thing

Tour de France routes are, like, the dream for any cyclist who’s watched those pros tear through France and thought, “Yo, I could maybe do that.” I’m writing this in my tiny Brooklyn apartment, sipping a stupidly overpriced coffee from that hipster spot down the block, and I’m still hyped from riding some of these routes last summer. The burnt coffee smell’s got me flashing back to those sweaty, awesome, and sometimes embarrassing moments biking through France. No amount of spin classes in Williamsburg got me ready for this. I thought I was fit, but those routes? They straight-up laughed at me.

I’m just a regular 30-something dude who bikes a bunch, or so I thought. I’ve dodged tourists and rogue squirrels in Central Park enough to feel kinda cocky, but France? Totally different beast. Tour de France routes aren’t just roads—they’re like pedaling through history, pain, and some drop-dead gorgeous scenery.

Why These Tour de France Routes Are Worth It

These routes are famous for a reason, man. It’s not just about the race—it’s the places they go through. Think endless vineyards, mountains that make you wanna cry, and villages so cute you’ll wanna ditch your bike and stay forever. I rode parts of the 2019 route in the Alps, and it was like biking through a postcard that’s also trying to end you.

• Views that hit hard: Lavender fields that smell like a fancy candle and cliffs that make your stomach drop.
• The pain’s no joke: My legs were screaming on Col du Galibier, and I def muttered, “Why am I even doing this?”
• Bragging rights: Telling my buddies in Brooklyn I rode a Tour de France route? Yeah, that felt real good.

I found some dope planning tips on Cycling Weekly. They’re clutch for amateurs like me trying to live the Tour de France routes dream.

My Super Cringe First Try at a Tour de France Route

Okay, picture me in the Alps, rocking my overpriced cycling gear I snagged at REI, feeling like a total pro. I’d mapped out a chunk of Stage 14 from 2019, starting in Tarbes. I’m pumped, right? Then I hit this climb that was basically a wall. My lungs were toast, my water was gone, and I’m pretty sure a French cow gave me the stink-eye when I stopped to wheeze. Those Tour de France routes don’t play, and I was so not ready.

Picking Tour de France Routes That Won’t Kill You

Not all Tour de France routes are created equal, especially if you’re not some jacked-up pro cyclist. I learned this the hard way, trust. Here’s my take on some routes that are kinda doable for us normies:

• Provence (Stage 11, 2021): Pretty flat, with sunflower fields that make you forget your legs are on fire. I only whined a bit.
• Pyrenees foothills (Stage 15, 2020): Hilly, but not “I’m done with life” hilly. The mountain views are straight fire.
• Burgundy wine route (Stage 7, 2019): Chill slopes and vineyard stops. I maybe had some wine mid-ride. Don’t @ me.

VeloNews has awesome route maps if you’re planning your own Tour de France routes trip.

Tips I Wish I Knew Before Tackling These Routes

I made so many dumb mistakes, it’s almost funny. Okay, it’s totally funny. Here’s what I’d tell my dumb past self:

• Train for hills: Central Park hills aren’t the Alps. Hit the gym or find real inclines.
• Pack snacks: I ran out of energy bars and ended up buying overpriced croissants at a village bakery. Worth it, tho.
• Check your bike: My chain slipped mid-climb, and I almost cried in front of some French grandparents. True story.

The Highs and Lows of Tour de France Routes

Real talk: riding Tour de France routes is a wild ride—half amazing, half soul-crushing. One minute, you’re flying down a hill, wind in your face, feeling like a champ. The next, you’re crawling up a climb, wondering why you didn’t just stay home and binge Netflix. I’ll never forget stopping in the Pyrenees to catch my breath and just… staring. Snowy peaks, a valley that looked like a freakin’ painting, and me, a sweaty mess, grinning like a dork.

But then there was that time I got a flat in the middle of nowhere, and my French was so bad I could barely ask for help. I mumbled something about “le vélo” to a farmer, who just laughed and tossed me a wrench. Humbling? Oh, you bet.

How to Plan Your Own Tour de France Routes Adventure

If you’re thinking about riding these routes, here’s my advice from the school of hard knocks:

1. Start small: Pick a shorter or flatter stage. Provence is your homie.
2. Go with a tour group: I used Trek Travel for part of my trip, and they handled all the annoying stuff.
3. Learn some French: Knowing how to say “my bike’s busted” is a lifesaver.

Wrapping Up My Tour de France Routes Rant

Look, riding Tour de France routes isn’t just biking—it’s a whole thing. It’s you versus the road, the history, and sometimes your own dumb choices (like forgetting snacks). I’m back in Brooklyn now, dreaming of those French roads while dodging sketchy potholes. If you’re even a little into cycling, give these routes a shot. Start easy, laugh at your screw-ups, and maybe don’t tell anyone about that time a French grandpa on a rusty bike dusted you.